第15节（第701-750行） (15/20)

"truly,resumedi,weoweitallthatweare;itisaquestionoflove.

"andofhonesty,myson,concludedhe.thememberofafamilywhodoesnotcontributehisshareofworkandofhappinessfailsinhisduty,andisabadkinsman;thememberofapartnershipwhodoesnotenrichitwithallhismight,withallhiscourage,andwithallhisheart,defraudsitofwhatbelongstoit,andisadishonestman.itisthesamewithhimwhoenjoystheadvantagesofhavingacountry,anddoesnotaccepttheburdensofit;heforfeitshishonor,andisabadcitizen!

"andwhatmustonedo,lieutenant,tobeagoodcitizen?askedi.

"doforyourcountrywhatyouwoulddoforyourfatherandmother,saidhe.

"ididnotansweratthemoment;myheartwasswelling,andthebloodboilinginmyveins;butonreturningalongtheroad,myuncleswordswere,sotospeak,writtenupbeforemyeyes.irepeated,doforyourcountrywhatyouwoulddoforyourfatherandmother.andmycountryisindanger;anenemyattacksit,whilei——iturncupsandballs!

"thisthoughttormentedmesomuchallnightthatthenextdayireturnedtovincennestoannouncetothelieutenantthatihadjustenlisted,andwasgoingofftothefrontier.thebravemanpresseduponmehiscrossofst.louis,andiwentawayasproudasanambassador.

"thatishow,neighbor,ibecameavolunteerundertherepublicbeforeihadcutmywisdomteeth."

allthiswastoldquietly,andinthecheerfulspiritofhimwholooksuponanaccomplisheddutyneitherasameritnoragrievance.

whilehespoke,fatherchaufourgrewanimated,notonaccountofhimself,butofthegeneralsubject.evidentlythatwhichoccupiedhiminthedramaoflifewasnothisownpart,butthedramaitself.

thissortofdisinterestednesstouchedme.iprolongedmyvisit,andshowedmyselfasfrankaspossible,inordertowinhisconfidenceinreturn.inanhourstimeheknewmypositionandmyhabits;iwasonthefootingofanoldacquaintance.

ievenconfessedtheill-humorthelightofhislampputmeintoashorttimebefore.hetookwhatisaidwiththetouchingcheerfulnesswhichcomesfromaheartintherightplace,andwhichlooksuponeverythingonthegoodside.heneitherspoketomeofthenecessitywhichobligedhimtoworkwhileicouldsleep,norofthedeprivationsoftheoldsoldiercomparedtotheluxuryoftheyoungclerk;heonlystruckhisforehead,accusedhimselfofthoughtlessness,andpromisedtoputlistroundhisdoor!

ogreatandbeautifulsoul!withwhomnothingturnstobitterness,andwhoartperemptoryonlyindutyandbenevolence!

october15th——thismorningiwaslookingatalittleengravingihadframedmyself,andhungovermywriting-table;itisadesignofgavarnis;inwhich,inagravemood,hehasrepresentedaveteranandaconscript.

byoftencontemplatingthesetwofigures,sodifferentinexpression,andsotruetolife,bothhavebecomelivinginmyeyes;ihaveseenthemmove,ihaveheardthemspeak;thepicturehasbecomearealscene,atwhichiampresentasspectator.

theveteranadvancesslowly,hishandleaningontheshoulderoftheyoungsoldier.hiseyes,closedforever,nolongerperceivethesunshiningthroughthefloweringchestnut-trees.intheplaceofhisrightarmhangsanemptysleeve,andhewalkswithawoodenleg,thesoundofwhichonthepavementmakesthosewhopassturntolook.

atthesightofthisancientwreckfromourpatrioticwars,thegreaternumbershaketheirheadsinpity,andiseemtohearasighoranimprecation.

"seetheworthofglory!"saysaportlymerchant,turningawayhiseyesinhorror.

"whatadeplorableuseofhumanlife!"rejoinsayoungmanwhocarriesavolumeofphilosophyunderhisarm.

"thetrooperwouldbetternothavelefthisplow,"addsacountryman,withacunningair.

"pooroldman!"murmursawoman,almostcrying.

theveteranhasheard,andheknitshisbrow;foritseemstohimthathisguidehasgrownthoughtful.thelatter,attractedbywhathehearsaroundhim,hardlyanswerstheoldmansquestions,andhiseyes,vaguelylostinspace,seemtobeseekingthereforthesolutionofsomeproblem.

iseemtoseeatwitchinginthegraymoustachesoftheveteran;hestopsabruptly,and,holdingbackhisguidewithhisremainingarm:

"theyallpityme,"sayshe,"becausetheydonotunderstandit;butifiweretoanswerthem——"

"whatwouldyousaytothem,father?"askstheyoungman,withcuriosity.

"ishouldsayfirsttothewomanwhoweepswhenshelooksatme,tokeephertearsforothermisfortunes;foreachofmywoundscallstomindsomestruggleformycolors.thereisroomfordoubtinghowsomemenhavedonetheirduty;withmeitisvisible.icarrytheaccountofmyservices,writtenwiththeenemyssteelandlead,onmyself;topitymeforhavingdonemydutyistosupposeiwouldbetterhavebeenfalsetoit."

"andwhatwouldyousaytothecountryman,father?"

"ishouldtellhimthat,todrivetheplowinpeace,wemustfirstsecurethecountryitself;andthat,aslongasthereareforeignersreadytoeatourharvest,theremustbearmstodefendit."

"buttheyoungstudent,too,shookhisheadwhenhelamentedsuchauseoflife."

"becausehedoesnotknowwhatself-sacrificeandsufferingcanteach.

thebooksthathestudieswehaveputinpractice,thoughweneverreadthem:theprinciplesheapplaudswehavedefendedwithpowderandbayonet."

"andatthepriceofyourlimbsandyourblood.themerchantsaid,whenhesawyourmaimedbody,seetheworthofglory!"

"donotbelievehim,myson:thetruegloryisthebreadofthesoul;itisthiswhichnourishesself-sacrifice,patience,andcourage.themasterofallhasbestoweditasatiethemorebetweenmen.whenwedesiretobedistinguishedbyourbrethren,dowenotthusproveouresteemandoursympathyforthem?thelongingforadmirationisbutonesideoflove.no,no;thetrueglorycanneverbetoodearlypaidfor!

thatwhichweshoulddeplore,child,isnottheinfirmitieswhichproveagenerousself-sacrifice,butthosewhichourvicesorourimprudencehavecalledforth.ah!ificouldspeakaloudtothosewho,whenpassing,castlooksofpityuponme,ishouldsaytotheyoungmanwhoseexcesseshavedimmedhissightbeforeheisold,whathaveyoudonewithyoureyes?totheslothfulman,whowithdifficultydragsalonghisenervatedmassofflesh,whathaveyoudonewithyourfeet?totheoldman,whoispunishedforhisintemperancebythegout,whathaveyoudonewithyourhands?toall,whathaveyoudonewiththedaysgodgrantedyou,withthefacultiesyoushouldhaveemployedforthegoodofyourbrethren?ifyoucannotanswer,bestownomoreofyourpityupontheoldsoldiermaimedinhiscountryscause;forhe——heatleast——canshowhisscarswithoutshame."

october16th——thelittleengravinghasmademecomprehendbetterthemeritsoffatherchaufour,andithereforeesteemhimallthemore.

hehasjustnowleftmyattic.therenolongerpassesasingledaywithouthiscomingtoworkbymyfire,ormygoingtositandtalkbyhisboard.

theoldartillerymanhasseenmuch,andlikestotellofit.fortwentyyearshewasanarmedtravellerthroughouteurope,andhefoughtwithouthatred,forhewaspossessedbyasinglethought——thehonorofthenationalflag!itmighthavebeenhissuperstition,ifyouwill;butitwas,atthesametime,hissafeguard.

thewordfrance,whichwasthenresoundingsogloriouslythroughtheworld,servedasatalismantohimagainstallsortsoftemptation.tohavetosupportagreatnamemayseemaburdentovulgarminds,butitisanencouragementtovigorousones.

"i,too,havehadmanymoments,"saidhetometheotherday,"whenihavebeentemptedtomakefriendswiththedevil.warisnotpreciselytheschoolforruralvirtues.bydintofburning,destroying,andkilling,yougrowalittletoughasregardsyourfeelings;and,whenthebayonethasmadeyouking,thenotionsofanautocratcomeintoyourheadalittlestrongly.butatthesemomentsicalledtomindthatcountrywhichthelieutenantspokeoftome,andiwhisperedtomyselfthewell-knownphrase,toujoursfrancais!ithasbeenlaughedatsince.peoplewhowouldmakeajokeofthedeathoftheirmotherhaveturneditintoridicule,asifthenameofourcountrywasnotalsoanobleandabindingthing.formypart,ishallneverforgetfromhowmanyfolliesthetitleoffrenchmanhaskeptme.when,overcomewithfatigue,ihavefoundmyselfintherearofthecolors,andwhenthemusketrywasrattlinginthefrontranks,manyatimeiheardavoice,whichwhisperedinmyear,leavetheotherstofight,andfortodaytakecareofyourownhide!butthen,thatwordfrancais!murmuredwithinme,andipressedforwardtohelpmycomrades.atothertimes,when,irritatedbyhunger,cold,andwounds,ihavearrivedatthehovelofsomemeinherr,ihavebeenseizedbyanitchingtobreakthemastersback,andtoburnhishut;butiwhisperedtomyself,francais!andthisnamewouldnotrhymewitheitherincendiaryormurderer.ihave,inthisway,passedthroughkingdomsfromeasttowest,andfromnorthtosouth,alwaysdeterminednottobringdisgraceuponmycountrysflag.thelieutenant,yousee,hadtaughtmeamagicword——mycountry!notonlymustwedefendit,butwemustalsomakeitgreatandloved."

october17th——to-dayihavepaidmyneighboralongvisit.achanceexpressionledthewaytohistellingmemoreofhimselfthanhehadyetdone.

iaskedhimwhetherbothhislimbshadbeenlostinthesamebattle.

"no,no!"repliedhe;"thecannononlytookmyleg;itwastheclamartquarriesthatmyarmwenttofeed."

andwheniaskedhimfortheparticulars——

"thatsaseasyastosaygood-morning,"continuedhe."afterthegreatbreak-upatwaterloo,istayedthreemonthsinthecamphospitaltogivemywoodenlegtimetogrow.assoonasiwasabletohobblealittle,itookleaveofheadquarters,andtooktheroadtoparis,whereihopedtofindsomerelativeorfriend;butno——allweregone,orunderground.

ishouldhavefoundmyselflessstrangeatvienna,madrid,orberlin.

andalthoughihadalegthelesstoprovidefor,iwasnonethebetteroff;myappetitehadcomeback,andmylastsousweretakingflight.

"ihadindeedmetmyoldcolonel,whorecollectedthatihadhelpedhimoutoftheskirmishatmontereaubygivinghimmyhorse,andhehadofferedmebedandboardathishouse.iknewthattheyearbeforehehadmarriedacastleandnofewfarms,sothatimightbecomepermanentcoat-brushertoamillionaire,whichwasnotwithoutitstemptations.

itremainedtoseeifihadnotanythingbettertodo.oneeveningisetmyselftoreflectuponit.

"letussee,chaufour,saiditomyself;thequestionistoactlikeaman.thecolonelsplacesuitsyou,butcannotyoudoanythingbetter?

yourbodyisstillingoodcondition,andyourarmsstrong;doyounotoweallyourstrengthtoyourcountry,asyourvincennesunclesaid?whynotleavesomeoldsoldier,morecutupthanyouare,togethishospitalatthecolonels?come,trooper,youarestillfitforanotherstoutchargeortwo!youmustnotlayupbeforeyourtime.

"whereuponiwenttothankthecolonel,andtooffermyservicestoanoldartilleryman,whohadgonebacktohishomeatclamart,andwhohadtakenupthequarrymanspickagain.